There are few conversations I dread more than sitting down with someone who’s struggling in their role. Whether you’ve led for five minutes or five decades, that particular meeting never quite stops feeling like holy ground—sacred, weighty, and slightly terrifying.
We often step into leadership with a desire to develop others, to see people flourish in their God-given gifts. But what do we do when flourishing feels far off? What do we do when someone we lead seems mismatched for their current role?
A Tool for Clarity in Tough Conversations
At a recent church planters conference, I had the privilege of sitting in on a breakout led by Murray Lee, the MNA Executive Coordinator. In a session full of wisdom, one simple diagram stood out—a humble tool he described as one of the most effective he’s used in these very conversations.
It was four quadrants, each one depicting the relationship between a person and their role using circles—one representing the person, one representing the job.
And in the middle of that diagram, a question that invites reflection rather than accusation:
“Which of these best represents where you are right now?”
Let’s walk through each quadrant, one by one. As we do, keep in mind the purpose is never condemnation, but rather alignment—between calling, capacity, and God’s design.
Top Left: The Job Is Too Big for You
Picture a large circle (the job), with a much smaller one inside it (the person). This quadrant speaks of someone who feels unprepared, overwhelmed, or misaligned in their current role. Perhaps they lack experience, proper training, or even the inner wiring for the work at hand.
This is not a failure—this is clarity. And clarity, while uncomfortable, is always kind. This quadrant might be the first step in helping someone grow into a better-fitting role, or even guiding them toward a different seat altogether.
Our role as leaders? Ask questions. Offer support. Help them discern whether growth is possible or whether transition is wiser.
Top Right: You Are Too Big for the Job
This time, the person is the larger circle. The role? Too small.
Now, in a healthy setting, this could be an exciting discovery—someone ready for more responsibility, hungry to serve in greater ways.
But context matters. If you’re in a meeting because someone is underperforming, and they identify with this quadrant, beware. Often, this points not to capacity but to attitude—immaturity, pride, or a lack of emotional intelligence.
Gently—but firmly—lead with truth. Affirm their value, but help them see the disconnect between how they view themselves and how they’re functioning. Keep the conversation grounded in observable behaviors, not assumptions. And always season your words with grace.
Bottom Left: You and the Job Will Soon Fit Perfectly
Here we find two overlapping circles—close in size, not yet fully aligned. This is the quadrant of hopeful potential. Maybe they’re still learning the ropes, still building confidence, still discovering their own voice in the role. But the ingredients are there.
This is where humility meets possibility. Many will gravitate here in the conversation—sometimes sincerely, sometimes hopefully, sometimes defensively. Your task is discernment.
Do their words match what you’ve seen in practice? If so, now is the time to move toward development plans, intentional coaching, and encouragement. If not, you lovingly challenge their self-assessment, backed with real-world examples.
Either way, this quadrant offers a way forward.
Bottom Right: You and the Job Are a Perfect Fit
Two concentric circles. A perfect match. And while we all want to land here eventually, if someone selects this quadrant in the midst of a performance conversation… proceed thoughtfully.
It’s not that they can’t be right. But more often than not, it suggests a lack of self-awareness. A blind spot that needs gentle exposure.
This is where your role as shepherd-leader is vital. Come with examples. Come with care. Come ready to paint a picture of growth—both the gaps and the grace.
Lead With Grace and Truth
This diagram isn’t just a performance tool. It’s a discipleship opportunity. It gives you language to ask better questions, listen more deeply, and speak more clearly. You are not just evaluating a worker. You are stewarding a life.
So let them speak first. Ask them to place themselves in the quadrant. Let them wrestle with it aloud. But don’t stop there—share where you see them, too. This is leadership marked by clarity, not avoidance. By truth, not flattery.
And sometimes, clarity will lead you into that conversation—the one every leader hopes to avoid, yet must be willing to have. The moment when, with prayerful humility, you say, “I don’t believe this role—or even this organization—is the right fit for your future.” If that time comes, come prayed up. Come steady. Hopefully, this tool helps lay the groundwork so that even hard conversations can be marked by grace. Be ready to point them toward hope, not shame. Name the strengths you see in them. Speak life into the unique way God has designed them.
Tools like The 6 Types of Working Genius—Wonder, Discernment, Galvanizing, Enablement, Tenacity, and Invention—can offer language to uncover where they are most naturally energized. Maybe their Genius isn’t needed here, in this season, but it will be exactly right somewhere else. Help them see the exit not as rejection, but as redirection—guided by a God who does not waste a single gift.
Because in the end, our calling as leaders is not to hoard talent but to shepherd people—into growth, into health, into whatever God has next.
Use the Tool to Build, Not Break
Finally, don’t reserve this tool for hard conversations only. Use it to encourage, especially those who may doubt their abilities. For someone struggling with confidence but full of promise, this visual can help them see themselves more clearly—and step more boldly into the good work prepared for them.
Because in the end, that’s what we’re after: not perfect performance, but faithful stewardship. May we lead with both courage and compassion, helping others walk in the fullness of what God has made them to do.
